Pete Coomber's Website

Please, please, please can you help me?

I find watching Deal Or No Deal and Ant and Dec’s Limitless Win leaves me cold, and rich-people-in-stately-homes productions, such as Bridgerton, leave me feeling angry about the inequalities of wealth. Great British Bake-Off, Great British Menu or Master Chef make me feel nauseous. And I could never get on with X Factor, Britain’s Got Talent or The Masked Singer as they make me throw up on the lino too.

I am bored by programmes containing anybody dancing: whether it is in sequins or on ice. Yawn!

Yet all around me people - neighbours, locals, customers and staff in shops and supermarkets – are enthusing about how wonderful these programmes are: “Did you see The Traitors last night..? Wasn’t it (some twat with a squeaky voice) amazing!”.

These programmes leave me feeling isolated, confused, angry and depressed, and in a deep state of ennui, and to escape from this state I find myself frantically searching the channels for re-runs of Bronowski’s Ascent Of Man, Attenborough’s Life On Earth (before they started giving the animals names: Eric the hippo and Napoleon the meerkat, for God's sake), and old episodes of Porridge, Rising Damp and Fireball XL5.

Do I need to seek medical help?