Thoughts and Opinions and Other Stuff

This is my Devil's Advocate page. Some of my suggestions deal with problems that have come about through really bad, terrible events (e.g. unsafe Channel boat crossing, the Grenfell fire). I in no way intend to make light of any of these events, I am merely applying my cynical thoughts (about greed, etc) to the aftermath of those events.

Saving Red Squirrels

(And dealing with the 'youth problem')

One of the issues the current Tory Government (and the Opposition) have decided it is best for them to come out against, is the issue of laughing gas abuse. Apparently, hard-working families are in danger from the huge piles of discarded Nitrous Oxide canisters that gangs of teenage youths are leaving in local parks: mothers have pram wheels trapped in the mounds of these canisters; children (under the age of eleven) risk swallowing them. While under the influence of this dangerous substance, teenage youths are busy writing graffiti everywhere...

Another major problem (not one highlighted by the Government or the Opposition) is the flooding of the British countryside by millions of American grey squirrels.

I can offer a solution which solves both issues.

Encourage the disaffected youth to spray-paint grey squirrels with red paint (by means of a bribe: possibly, a 5 pack of cigarettes or a 1 litre bottle of Diamond White per dozen squirrels). This will help remove grey squirrels (because they won't be able to find any squirrels, of the opposite sex, of the same colour); give meaning to the disaffected youths' lives (thus removing the need to inhale laughing gas to cheer themselves up); and reduce the amount of graffiti.

Port Of Dover Ferry Delays

In 2022, and again in the Spring of this year, there have considerable delays to passenger and freight traffic through the Port of Dover due to passport checks. This is nothing to do with Brexit.

An obvious solution to this problem is for the coach loads of school children and senior citizens to take to the water in the many inflatable rubber dingies lining the beach and quayside at Dover. Better an eight hour paddle across the Channel than twelve hours waiting on a hot, stuffy coach...

Dangerous Cladding

(How to get rid of the cladding.)

Following the terrible fire at Grenfell Tower, many thousands of tenants in the UK, in buildings similarly clad with highly flammable materials, have been left with the fear of will it happen to me? and a higher costs resultant from the additional safeguards being applied to help prevent similar disasters.

Tenants are stuck; they can't sell; the cladding remains; landlords do not want to remove it; landlords pass the costs onto the tenants. Removing it would cost a lot of money, and spending a lot of money is not a thing landlords would want to undertake. Spending money would take the meaning out of being a landlord.

My solution is simple: get Banksy to paint some of his satirical artwork on the cladding of each of the affected buildings (something that might take up quite a bit of his time, but I'm sure he would feel it was in a good cause). This will cause the cladding to become valuable (£££££), rather than an expensive, danger to life. Rich people will want to acquire a piece of artwork, which the landlords will surely be keen to sell, and will remove the dangerous, fire-causing cladding from people's homes. A neat solution all round...

...of course, the Government could always force landlords (and the cladding producers) to remove the cladding, and get around to paying compensation to those who were affected (not that money is any compensation to losing a life).