Literature

I've always been a bit of a scribbler. I suppose it came about because I was no good with a paint brush or a mallet and chisel and had spent many years learning how to play the guitar incorrectly (I have perfected bad playing), and my Woodwork 'O' Level was just a piece of paper on the back of which I could tally up the number of times I have messed up a dovetail joint - so scribbling was an easy option.

When I say easy, I don't mean I am particularly gifted in the writing department. I shall never write War And Peace (except for a short story I wrote called War And Peace) and I can't describe scenes or action to save my life, but I have a voice (as they say) and so what if it is a little wacky at times? - it's me.

I write short stories (not being able to complete anything longer).

Short Stories

In 2016 I finally got around to completing a collection of my short stories, which I put together in an ebook called It Never Happened. This was a collection of stories written over the years (some of which were previously available on this website), plus a few written at the back end of 2016. I made this book available on the Kobo Bookstore and in 2018 I followed this up with This Never Happened Too. On 1st June 2019 my third collection Painting By Numbers came out.

2020 was also the year I began producing my fourth collection of short stories called This Could Be Our Finest Hour. However by 2022 I was beginning to have doubts about this book, so I had a change of plan and put out One Hundred And One Strange Stories instead. This book came out on 3rd May 2022. This Could Be Our Finest Hour may come out in the future.

Novel

In the middle of 2020 I became a particularly busy bee (there being nothing much else to do because of the virus) and expanded two of my short stories I, Chimp and I, Chimp - The Great Escape into a full length book. This book ran into around 16,000 words, so couldn't quite be called novel-length but my method of expansion included descriptions of the weather (invariably 'thunderous'), a description of each character ('shabby') and a deep insight into each characters' inner mood and thoughts ('shabbily thunderous' or 'thunderously shabby'). Within that, I packed in a number of corny jokes about tyre-swings and bananas (..and termites), and scraped up some new scraps of writing of the usual kind ..dark, humorous, puerile...

I, Chimp

'..So it will come as no surprise for you to find that my true love is Modern Art. Not for me the tawdry depiction of some Italian floozy smirking in front of a distant landscape; no - for me - if you are going to paint a woman with only two eyes - make sure they are both on the same side of her wobbly head. It’s called imagination...'

Whilst the book doesn't quite reach the volume of words of War and Peace, it does reach lofty heights (the top of the tyre swing at least) that would have had Leo Tolstoy biting his Biro in half out of envy.

My Books

The stories are dark, humorous, off-beat and occasionally puerile... They have been described as: '..Stories that make you smile - some quirky, some thought provoking and some that made me laugh out loud! Short, dark, dry, varied, easy to get into, and occasionally thought-provoking; a great way of filling small amounts of otherwise dead time..' - Dave from Witney, Oxfordshire (not the former Prime Minister Dave).

Where Available From (External Links)

Free Books

Experience shows that some people do not enjoy laying out money for books (I get most of mine from the charity shops, these days), so if you are one of these people then I have a couple of e-books out. One is called Tall Short Stories which is entirely free. Fourteen stories from the Red Crayon of Peter Coomber - as it says in the blurb.
The other free book, Short And Curlies, is a very short collection of very short, short bits. Some of it is slightly mad (reflecting its creator) but worth a look at (well, it is free.)

What People Have Said About My Books

Zebra Gazette

..currently the best author writing about zebras. His prose is so black and white you find yourself whinnying in sympathy..

Nihilist Christmas Book Review

..The Adventures Of Henry The Happy Lamb makes Animal Farm read like a book about communist animals..

Zoo Keepers Quarterly

..Difficult to put down. Deeply insightful into conditions in a typical zoo compound. Rumour has it that Leo Tolstoy bit his Biro in half, out of envy, after reading this book..

Zoo Keepers Quarterly

..I, Chimp had me and Yuan Yuan spitting out our bamboo at his cruel treatment behind bars..

Eastwood Chronicle

..I kept on reading word after word, sentence after sentence, paragraph after paragraph. My eyes scanned page after page, chapter after chapter, until the meaning of the words became - themselves - meaningful, and life took on a deeper, hidden meaning that left me in a state of confusion. I was there, in that star-filled place, just beyond reach of the Moon. I had arrived. Life, that had seemed to have stopped, began again. And even clearer, there before my eyes, written in letters - it seemed ten feet tall - were the words: THE END. It made no sense..

Dave (from Lowdham)

..I haven't read the short stories yet because they are too long..

Dave (from Witney)

..Short, dark, dry, varied, easy-to-get-into stories that make you smile - some quirky, occasionally thought-provoking and some that made me laugh out loud! A great way of filling small amounts of otherwise dead time..

DaveM (from Witney) Short & Curlies

..If you've never read a book and thought 'What have I just read?', reread it and thought the same, this book is for you. Classic Coomber..

"BY"

..Exactly What I Wanted. Loved every story. Catchy- interesting- short. Exactly what I want in a group of short stories. Nice variety! This author was able to be “different” with each story told. Similar to an actor’s ability to convincingly play a variety of characters. Thoroughly enjoyed. Highly recommend...

See also:

• It Never Happened
• This Never Happened Too
• Painting By Numbers
• One Hundred And One Strange Stories
• This Could Be Our Finest Hour
• I, Chimp - novel
• Tall Short Stories - Free e-book
• Short And Curlies - Free e-book
• A la recherché du temps perdu - Une histoire
• Sardina Pilchardus: The Book That Never Happened